rest in peace, kalyanamitra…

PeaceOfferingSmall

sometimes

it is all i can do
to just sit

here in this naked moment

this uneasy
space

my heart broken open

how else can all of this Love pour out?

~j

…here i sit.  at present words fail me, so i have pulled from words assembled in the past, reflecting a moment then, to reassemble them here in the present, reflecting this moment now.

i hesitate to use the word “lost” when regarding the passing of a friend.  love is never lost, never gone nor diminished.  love just transforms herself and continues her lovely dance into the next hall where her beauty can continue to grow and delight.  how can the great work of love ever be done?  nevertheless, in this transitory life we call home, when a friend continues their journey it is we who can feel lost.

i hold these uncomfortable feelings, these feelings of sadness for all who are suffering in this “loss.”  i hold these feelings with tender care.  allowing them to grow this heart in love and teach the bravery that is openness.

Lori Miles Rubino is a bright light, who has embodied bravery and openness,  a gift to all who know her and have the privilege to call her friend.  kind, compassionate, encouraging, funny, open and loving.  a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, coach, friend, artist, photographer, and writer.  her life has been one of great love, the work of a bodhisattva, as is so evident in the amazing family she has raised and of whom i am so grateful and adore.

in honor of her bravery, her openness, and her beautiful talent as a writer i want to invite and encourage you to read her blog One Toe Over the Line Sweet Mary.  her most recent entries will shake you, wake you up, make you laugh and open your heart.  do yourself the great favor and gift of reading her words.  chew them, reflect and meditate on them.  especially her entries, Forgiving and Dying among others.  i was so moved in reading the latter – it was our final correspondence in the first week of January 2015 beyond mutual Facebook “like”ing more recently.  i cherish it.

the rawness, i attempt to express in my words at the top of this page – is so deftly brought to life in Lori’s essays.  i will be reblogging her work, here, to share.

love you, dear Lori, and so grateful for the gift of your love.  i look forward to watching how it continues to grow in the hearts of all who know you and love you.  rest in peace, kalyanamitra.

namasté
~j

01.21.15

the Love of friendship…

people come in and out of our lives…all of them guests. treating all as gifts to our well-being, teachers to our learning, nourishment to our souls, recipients of our giving. we let them pass through with our blessing for happiness and freedom from suffering. with an open heart we say, “Welcome” as they enter in, and with an open heart we say, “Be well” as they move on. this is the Love of non-attachment, this is the Love of friendship.

~ j

Wednesday, September 5th 2012

we are all friends here…

when i need a reminder
that all of this is sacred

i sit under the night sky
and
watch stars dance
i listen to birds sing
or
children’s laughter

i enjoy a cool breeze on a sunny day
and
get lost in the eyes
of
those whom i love.

we are all friends here
interdependent
floating along in the same river
which
opens into a deep blue sea
of
vast, spacious Love…

by jaysen matthew waller
©2012, Jaysen Matthew Waller

the only truth we have…

the only truth we have…

all is empty

waves come and gone

suns risen and set

worlds end
even
as new ones begin

all of what i know
is that i don’t
really
know

whether the stars
are here
or
gone tomorrow

even as if they
are
gone today

and may be

in some
tomorrow

all i really see
are distant memories
and futures
yet to manifest

but i am here
in this moment
in this
breath

so

breathe with me
my love

and

let our hearts beat
this once
together in rhythm

together
in the harmony
of right now

the only truth we have

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller

reborn in your love…

reborn in your love…

it is in your in-breath
that
i live

and

in your out-breath
that
i die

so please
keep breathing
my friend

that
i may live
and die

again
and
again

in this
your beautiful
reincarnation

moment
by
moment

i am
reborn
again

reborn
in
your love

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller

broken are my gifts of love…

broken are my gifts of love…

broken
are my gifts
of
love

what
should be
grace

ends in clumsy
disgrace

my words
like wallflowers
need
a shove

and
still they
get lost

avoiding you
at great cost

yet, the letter
from my lips
is
simple, my love

you are the prayer
that echoes from my heart
for all the Universe
the hear
from below
to
above

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller