i came across this poem earlier today after having read some of Jack Kornfield’s book, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace.
in it he writes:
There are also more subtle enemies of love. These imitations of love are attachment and expectation…When attachment arises in the place of love, it sees the other as separate; it grasps and needs. Attachment is conditional; it seeks control and fears loss. Ask your heart if attachment has replaced love. If we speak to our heart, it will always tell us the truth…Expectation is another imitation of love…Attachment to our hopes and desires, to our subtle expectations destroys the tender space of love. Even the most benevolent expectations can feel like pressure and judgment to another…Love is generous without need. It is fulfilling in itself. It is courageous. Love offers kindness with no requirement in return.
attachment and expectation smother love.
but to love without seeking reciprocation?
no wonder it is called the “narrow road”. loving truly and purely, selflessly…well, it’s difficult and painful…and sadly – but not surprisingly – it is the road less travelled. at some level i know this, as evidenced by the poem i wrote below for a friend who was struggling with this. but it is something that is a struggle for me as well and something i have to continually revisit in meditation and in life with all of my relationships – especially those closest to my heart.
here is the poem…
Love Knows Only Love
friend
of my heart
and
soul
are there any rules
with Love?
only this…
when the earth is thirsty
Love’s rain falls
when she is cold
Love’s warmth rises
silently
in the early hours, it rises
to greet her
waiting
before she wakes
to remind her that
Love knows only Love
…may your path continue to lead you away from imitations of love and into the light of True Love. this is my wish for myself and for all of you, my friends.
peace…
~ j
I think Kornfield is making reference to the four immeasurables.
It’s quite true, as you mention, that unconditional love is the narrow road. So much of what counts as love these days is based on conditions, it’s humbling to read about this road less traveled. Thanks for the reminder.
yes….Love, Compassion, Joy and Equanimity 🙂
thank you, Oz…i’m looking forward to reading your blog site.
it is, indeed, humbling…daily.
be well, new friend and thank you for your comment.
peace to you!
~ j
So, you have a boyfriend? That’s great!
This post made me realize what a clingy, controlling, co-dependent woman I can be. In the future I will remember that all negative states of mind are based on illusion.
I like your blog.
Love,
K
yay! Kari made a comment on my blog : )
you just made my night…
and made me laugh – no, i don’t have a boyfriend. what in the blog made you think so? funny.
as far as the stuff mentioned in the blog, i think we are all struggling with attachment and expectation to one degree or another, part of the human condition…it is a daily reminder for me that most of what comes into my mind is not Reality. most of it is my mind trying to figure out, control and manipulate reality to benefit my ego…humbling, very humbling.
i’m glad you like my blog…i like you liking my blog : )
love you much.
~ j