September 11, 2012…

spent the evening watching 9/11 footage as i do every year on this day.

i find it incredible that 11 years later, the emotions that rise up from my chest – that turn my stomach – that tighten in my throat, can still be so present. and although the emotions of sadness and anger manifest their presence once again, i do not watch to give them life anew. i watch to remind myself. to remind myself that suffering not grieved, that anger not transformed, that bitterness unchecked – left in its darkened cave, grows into hate. and that hate when held onto, when taught and modeled, finds life in hopeless – desperate hearts. possibly giving birth for generations, slowly separating us from our humanity, from what is divine.

i also watch to remind myself of what it looks like to see such bravery in the face of horrific disaster and tragedy, to watch courage and compassion manifest as it did that day in the police and fire fighters, in doctors and nurses, in coworkers and friends. i watch to remind myself how a nation who can get lost in division, can all at once be unified in their grief, their desire to hold life, and in their humanity.

i know in my heart we are given all we need to heal, all we need to reconcile and restore. the solution is us. our hearts, our minds, our light, our love – together. in moments we see this and in the long arc of history i believe its thread is clear.

but there are dark moments, periods of time that can shake the heart, and i am left to wonder – have we learned?

wishing all of you, dear friends – relief from your suffering, happiness and peace.

~ j

September 11, 2012

the Love of friendship…

people come in and out of our lives…all of them guests. treating all as gifts to our well-being, teachers to our learning, nourishment to our souls, recipients of our giving. we let them pass through with our blessing for happiness and freedom from suffering. with an open heart we say, “Welcome” as they enter in, and with an open heart we say, “Be well” as they move on. this is the Love of non-attachment, this is the Love of friendship.

~ j

Wednesday, September 5th 2012

i have seen God everywhere…

i have seen God everywhere

in trees, dancing with wind that whispers and roars
in the eyes of my friends, and in waves crashing on shores

where there was once a single flame, i now see Rising Sun
where there was once morning dew, i see an Ocean of One

where can my heart hide from The Beloved?

by jaysen matthew waller
©2012, Jaysen Matthew Waller

a letter to Aurora…

a letter to Aurora…

to all those who are suffering from this horrific tragedy in Aurora, our prayers are with you. to all those who are suffering from their own personal tragedies in this life, our prayers are with you. we are connected in our suffering, in our pain, in our confusion as to how such violence can occur. we are connected in these dark moments of life, where our hearts break and our minds spin with emotion, we are connected in our sense of loss as life seems to have lost all that is good.

it is important to feel these emotions, to sit with these emotions. to be where we are at, to grieve. so many of us, in our confusion, our pain, our anger are running from this horrible event. it isn’t easy to sit with tragedy, to be awake with suffering. it is far easier (and even feels good to have some brief relief) to blame. to blame the existence of guns, to blame a broken system, to blame a single individual who has forgotten what it means to be human, to be connected in life and love. and there too, we connect. we connect into groups with missions and we feel some brief relief as we find a place to place our anger, our pain, our suffering…forgetting our truer connection, that we are One.

but there is another way we are connected. we are connected in our Light, in our Love, in Life.

so as we sit in this darkness, in this night of tragedy and pain, let us look to Aurora itself. Aurora means “dawn”…the coming of day. that sacred, beautiful time when the night moves from twilight to day.

there is pain here. there is confusion and anger. but, my friends, there is also hope. the day will come again and with it the sun, shining bright the light of love and life. the Light that lives in all of us – both passed and still present, and the Love that connects us – whether we have passed or are present, whatever may come.

wishing peace and freedom from suffering for us all.

namaste ~ j

Friday, July 20th 2012

the only truth we have…

the only truth we have…

all is empty

waves come and gone

suns risen and set

worlds end
as new ones begin

all of what i know
is that i don’t

whether the stars
are here
gone tomorrow

even as if they
gone today

and may be

in some

all i really see
are distant memories
and futures
yet to manifest

but i am here
in this moment
in this


breathe with me
my love


let our hearts beat
this once
together in rhythm

in the harmony
of right now

the only truth we have

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller

reborn in your love…

reborn in your love…

it is in your in-breath
i live


in your out-breath
i die

so please
keep breathing
my friend

i may live
and die


in this
your beautiful


i am

your love

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller

broken are my gifts of love…

broken are my gifts of love…

are my gifts

should be

ends in clumsy

my words
like wallflowers
a shove

still they
get lost

avoiding you
at great cost

yet, the letter
from my lips
simple, my love

you are the prayer
that echoes from my heart
for all the Universe
the hear
from below

by jaysen matthew waller
©2010 Jaysen Matthew Waller