prose
it has a name, and that name is assault…
Let us be clear about this.
The uproar and controversy is not about Donald Trump using the word “pussy” and then simply needing to apologize for that.
If this is not clear, I have an exercise that I would like you to try to assist in illuminating the real issue:
Picture a female person in your life. It could be your mom, an aunt, your daughter, your niece, a cousin, or a friend. The key is to start with someone that you care about, someone whose well-being is something that you care about. Now picture that person, this female relative or friend, standing in front of you. Now picture a man whom you may or may not know walking up, kissing her without her permission, and then taking his hand and putting it on her genitals. She has not asked for this, she has not given permission.
This is what Donald Trump says he can, and does do, because he is a star.
This is called assault. period.
Unless this is something that you want done to your daughter, your niece, or any other relative, or friend whom you care about, unless this is something you want done to any other female human being that someone else cares about, then I would think you would want to stand up against this type of behavior and language, with a raised voice and firm resolution, from the deepest place within your heart and bones.
~j
10.08.16
no time for hate…
out of balance…
out of balance…
after hearing the disappointing, though not surprising news that the Senate Republicans wouldn’t pass gun legislation that bans persons on the terrorist watchlist from buying weapons and expands background checks, even though the majority of their constituents are in favor of this commonsense legislation, i decided to take a brisk walk in 99° weather.
is brisk the right adjective?
just think if i had heard the news earlier in the day when it was 106°. looks like i dodged a…
the thing is, i have been reading articles and essays all week long both pro and con. i’ve sat with this all week long, really trying to be open and listen, meditating with it. i’m not one of those people that wants to force his views on other people. if that were the case, none of you would be eating meat and you would take time out of your day to hug a tree every once in a while. and although i don’t personally like guns, i understand that they have a use at times in the world that we live in. i do understand that some people still enjoy hunting, even if they need not do it. i understand that some people want to have a weapon to defend their home and their loved ones. i respect and defend that “right” even as i think the Second Amendment is poorly interpreted (where is this well regulated militia with their guns they have the right to bear?).
here’s the thing, though. no “right” is absolute. although i have the “right” to free speech i cannot defame someone or incite violence. and when a “right” falls out of balance, infringing upon the rights of others to a degree that is gross and negligent, and causing irrevocable harm or death – then things are out of balance. we are out of balance. and when we aren’t speaking about taking guns away, but simply asking that we keep guns out of the hands of people who should not have them, but we cannot even come together on that and agree – then things are out of balance. we are out of balance.
there will always be people who are mentally ill, or who are hateful, or angry, or a terrorist. we cannot possibly stop, or heal every possible person who may commit such an act is what we have seen. but we can make it more difficult and we can withhold weapons that can do mass destruction, and cause mass casualties. my intelligence is insulted every time someone brings up the car analogy. cars were not built to kill. with proper training I could probably kill someone with the phone that I have in my hand (can someone show me how to do that? just kidding) but, the phone was not designed or created so that I can kill someone…thankfully, because i’d hate to break my vow of non-harming. you have no idea how many spiders i’ve caught and released.
some people say that none of this is the point. they claim it is a matter of principle. But if it is a matter of principle, even then, some principles outweigh others… how much do 49 lives weigh? or 26? or 14? Or the many others who will carry both physical and emotional scars for the rest of their lives?
we can’t even find out the weight, because Congress bowing to NRA pressure will not allow the CDC to study gun violence or gun death. i’m too lazy to study, let them study for me.
at some point we have to drop all of what we have created and remember what was here before us, before what we created. Life. that’s the principle that i intend to stand with. and fight for. out of love, with fierce compassion, i vow to promote life.
silly Buddhist.
~j
06.20.16
#GunViolence #GunLegislation #CommonSense #Orlando #Newtown #SanBernadino
you are…
welcome…
calling all healers…

calling all the healers, it is your time…
to those willing to pause before reacting, to breathe before speaking, it is your time…
to those willing to lay down their weapons whether they be guns or words, it is your time…
to those willing to keep their hearts open to vulnerability and their eyes open to pain, it is your time…
this call is for you, the healers – the willing.
those willing to do and embody what is needed now to heal and not further perpetuate suffering. those who are willing to stand in the face of fear, confusion and anger to transform them, rather than be ruled by them.
even as we may understand that there are at times specific needs for military or law enforcement, let us also bring a counter balance to those who call for more guns, more violence, more anger, and more fear.
may we bring healing through our work, through our art, our words, our every breath.
~j
“We’ve entered this new era, and we have to be planning for healing just as carefully as others are planning for destruction.” – Omid Safi
BY OMID SAFI(@OSTADJAAN), ON BEING COLUMNIST
Friends keep asking me where we find hope in these turbulent times. We don’t. We don’t find hope. We generate it.
Hope is like sanctity and community. Hope doesn’t descend down to us from heaven. It rises to heaven from right here on Earth.
As Warsan Shire says, it hurts everywhere, everywhere. As Parker Palmer says, even the healers are wounded healers.
We need to have a national and global conversation about faith that prepares us to carry on the work of healing so that we can be prepared when these atrocities hit us. This is the new normal. There are going to be Paris attacks, Beirut attacks, Baghdad attacks, Nigeria attacks, and more in the months and years to come. The work of healing is needed now, more than ever.
The atrocities are “events.” The healing has to be an ongoing, everyday journey. This healing work actually has to come before the atrocities, through the atrocities, and after the atrocities.
We’ve entered this new era, and we have to be planning for healing just as carefully as others are planning for destruction.
We’re simply, by necessity, now in an era of global processes of healing. As others have said, we’re all wounded, so we’re wounded healers now.
Everyone hurts — though not all hurt in the same way. Everyone has a role in healing — though not everyone is ready to heal.
turn, as I do so often, to the very heart of our faith traditions for hope. I remember the Qur’an saying that the ease, the healing, comes not after the difficulty but with it.
We cannot wait to be wounded before we turn to heal. We have to anticipate the healing, generate the healing, raise up the healing.
I remember Rumi’s words:
The wound is where the light enters you.
I see wounds. I see the wounded. And I see the wounders (who often carry their own wounds).
In an age when violence is broadcast widely, when the quickest way to fame is to say something vacuous and pungent How do we make the healing visible? How do we recover love as a public virtue? In the midst of this tragedy, I keep searching for hope, still my own heart to keep generating hope For myself For my children For all of us Where do we find hope? Mostly hope, courage, resistance are invisible. Hope’s never linear, rarely public, usually tender and private. Every now and then, we see examples of hope that become visible.
I want to shine a light on these moments — to remember, to rejuvenate, to recall — when the goodness shines on through, and reminds us of the need to keep generating hope.
Let me share one such moment from Paris. The moment of light is from a husband, Antoine Leiris, whose wife, Hélène Muyal-Leiris, was killed in the attacks. In his response, there is grace and dignity. It reminded me of Mamie Till, holding an open-casket funeral for her son Emmett, both for the world to see her suffering become public, and also to say that she had no time to hate, and would devote herself steadfast to seeking justice.
The husband released a statement to the ISIS terrorists: You have taken away the love of my life, a beautiful woman. You seek to get me to hate you, but I will not give you that satisfaction. I will not give you the satisfaction of having your hatred be mirrored in my heart. You, and your action, will not determine the kind of human being I will strive to be.
Here’s the transcript of the message from the husband, posted on Facebook. The original message was in French, here is an English translation:
“On Friday night you stole the life of an exceptional being, the love of my life, the mother of my son, but you won’t have my hatred.
I don’t know who you are and I don’t want to know — you are dead souls. If this God for which you kill indiscriminately made us in his own image, every bullet in the body of my wife will have been a wound in his heart.
So no, I don’t give you the gift of hating you. You are asking for it but responding to hatred with anger would be giving in to the same ignorance that made you what you are.
You want me to be afraid, to view my fellow countrymen with mistrust, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have lost.
I saw her this morning. Finally, after many nights and days of waiting. She was just as beautiful as when she left on Friday night, just as beautiful as when I fell hopelessly in love over 12 years ago.
Of course I’m devastated with grief, I admit this small victory, but it will be short-lived. I know she will accompany us every day and that we will find ourselves in this paradise of free souls to which you’ll never have access.
We are two, my son and I, but we are stronger than all the armies of the world.
I don’t have any more time to devote to you, I have to join Melvil who is waking up from his nap. He is barely 17-months-old. He will eat his meals as usual, and then we are going to play as usual, and for his whole life this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free. Because no, you will not have his hatred either.”
Here is what we often do not understand about the power of nonviolence in an uber-violent world. Nonviolence is not so much about “turning the other cheek” or responding to violence with a refusal to return violent action. That is simply the start. It is, simply, the minimum. It is actually more profound, as the widower husband says:
“So no, I don’t give you the gift of hating you. You are asking for it but responding to hatred with anger would be giving in to the same ignorance that made you what you are.”
Real nonviolence is the adamant insistence that we will choose to live a life of dignity, beauty, and meaning. That we will not get drowned in a whirlpool of hatred and violence.
The father ends by saying that he would say more, but that he has to go take care of his toddler, a toddler that now only has one parent to raise him.
Yes, we have children to raise,
parents to love,
friends to hug,
neighbors to reach out to,
inner-cities to heal,
and refugees to shelter.
There is real work to be done, genuine healing, which we have to generate.
The truth is actually much harder, and more beautiful than a simple refusal to return violence for violence. That would be akin to cursing a dark night already devoid of stars.
To curse the darkness, to bring more anger and rage into this world, is to let the terrorists win. It is to let the terror inside our own hearts win.
Healing begins by a commitment to letting light shine. We have to generate this light, this hope this healing and mirror it to each other. Let your light shine. Let’s heal each other, fellow wounded healers. We are in this together.
http://www.onbeing.org/blog/omid-safi-where-do-we-find-hope-after-paris/8164
windows…
sometimes it is just enough to know you have the capacity to love,
to be moved by someone, to feel.
even that can be a window to the deeper love.
the love that carries us all.
may you know that you are worthy of such love
and that your love is a gift to this world.
you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.
~j
02.14.15
beauty is waiting, love is calling…
the thing is, around every corner beauty is waiting to be seen,
anxiously calling our attention.
and love.
love is calling to be held close and to be given away.
beauty and love.
sometimes they are disguised as the wind dancing through and with the
willing, swaying trees.
sometimes they are disguised as the little ants working together in
purpose or in laughter from a good joke, or the taste of your favorite
food, or the look in your beloved’s eyes.
sometimes they are hidden in struggle and grief, pain and loss.
but they are always present.
can we see the beauty in our broken moments?
can we hold ourselves with love?
sometimes the beauty we find and the love we discover are in how we
respond to life.
we have the capacity of heart to respond to life with openness, with a
spacious quality that allows. love allows.
so we still ourselves.
becoming aware of our breath.
we listen with fresh ears.
we look deeply.
and we stay open.
everything is a miracle, every moment sacred.
~j
02.13.15
rest in peace, kalyanamitra…
sometimes
it is all i can do
to just sit
here in this naked moment
this uneasy
space
my heart broken open
how else can all of this Love pour out?
~j
…here i sit. at present words fail me, so i have pulled from words assembled in the past, reflecting a moment then, to reassemble them here in the present, reflecting this moment now.
i hesitate to use the word “lost” when regarding the passing of a friend. love is never lost, never gone nor diminished. love just transforms herself and continues her lovely dance into the next hall where her beauty can continue to grow and delight. how can the great work of love ever be done? nevertheless, in this transitory life we call home, when a friend continues their journey it is we who can feel lost.
i hold these uncomfortable feelings, these feelings of sadness for all who are suffering in this “loss.” i hold these feelings with tender care. allowing them to grow this heart in love and teach the bravery that is openness.
Lori Miles Rubino is a bright light, who has embodied bravery and openness, a gift to all who know her and have the privilege to call her friend. kind, compassionate, encouraging, funny, open and loving. a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, coach, friend, artist, photographer, and writer. her life has been one of great love, the work of a bodhisattva, as is so evident in the amazing family she has raised and of whom i am so grateful and adore.
in honor of her bravery, her openness, and her beautiful talent as a writer i want to invite and encourage you to read her blog One Toe Over the Line Sweet Mary. her most recent entries will shake you, wake you up, make you laugh and open your heart. do yourself the great favor and gift of reading her words. chew them, reflect and meditate on them. especially her entries, Forgiving and Dying among others. i was so moved in reading the latter – it was our final correspondence in the first week of January 2015 beyond mutual Facebook “like”ing more recently. i cherish it.
the rawness, i attempt to express in my words at the top of this page – is so deftly brought to life in Lori’s essays. i will be reblogging her work, here, to share.
love you, dear Lori, and so grateful for the gift of your love. i look forward to watching how it continues to grow in the hearts of all who know you and love you. rest in peace, kalyanamitra.
namasté
~j
01.21.15







