a moment of zen…

i was pulling out of the McDonald’s parking lot, after a failed attempt to ween myself from the consumption of an iced vanilla coffee (a relatively inexpensive treat ~ a cost more to my health than my wallet).

it was then that i saw her, with her curly, gray-blond hair falling to her shoulders. she was wearing comfortable pants a little high of her ankles, her feet within well-worn sneakers, and her eyes viewing the world through simple-framed glasses. she stood there, wrapped in a wool wrap at the exit of the parking lot.

no chance, really, to avoid her wanting gaze. nor did i want to. on the contrary, my heart felt drawn to her. i found myself noticing her beauty. she didn’t seem quite homeless, perhaps just down ‘n out – a victim of these challenging economic times.

i looked in my wallet, finding just a couple of 1’s and a 5 dollar bill. normally, i’d not think twice about keeping the 5 where it was and releasing the 1’s to a new home. after all, i live paycheck to paycheck like many. but this time i thought, “what the heck. i’ll give her the 5. she needs it more than i, no doubt.”

i wish i could say this was all ego-less generosity born out of my heart’s evergrowing compassion, but i’m pretty sure it was my ego, indeed, that was looking forward to seeing her notice it was a 5 dollar bill rather than a 1 dollar bill.

i rolled down my window and handed her the 5 dollar bill along with a smile. she readily received the 5, smiled in return with pleasant appreciation. then, as if trying to reassure me of my contribution to her need, she said, “thank you. every little bit counts.”

every little bit counts?!

ha! i drove away with a huge smile, a laugh, and joy in my heart. the little quirky, down ‘n out beauty gave me a great gift…an ego reality check and a moment of zen.

5 thoughts on “a moment of zen…

  1. Recently I went through the starbucks drive through and got an extra cookie for the gentlemen on the corner and also put the 5 not the 1 in the little bag. When I handed it to him I also thought he would say something about the five, but this man older than I and likely of the vietnam era shouted with glee “It’s one of the big cookies!” … I cried the whole way home.

    1. oh, thank you for sharing this Faith! how refreshing both this man and the woman that i interacted with are. i found it so surprising and refreshing. i’m so happy that i now know this story about this man and you! love and peace, my old friend ~ j

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