standing naked in the desert…

i bury myself deep
within
this bed of grief

wildly wrapping myself
in
sheets of anger and hurt

twisted and tangled
in
despair

memory washes over me
in
waves

uprooting these shallow feet

my breath barely escaping
this
heavily weighted chest

Oh!

To clear this crowded mind
and
reclaim this broken heart!

i stand naked in the desert
waiting

 

 

 

for Love to surprise me…

loss and letting go…

good, bad, sad coming
good, bad, sad ever going
all of Life is Now

inescapable
great suffering and bliss shared
in this, our One Heart

 

friends ~

without a doubt, these past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion. shadowed by worry, tension, grief, at times guilt, and with an even more consistent presence – confusion.
details are not necessary.  but the preceding weeks have brought the loss of people in my life and the seeming estrangement and confusion of what is a very dear to my heart friendship.  the price has been exhaustion, and at times an overwhelming burden of a weight i know i should not attempt to bear…and a feeling of helplessness, feeling alone, and deep, deep sadness.

Life is good.

i’m not making a joke.  Life is good.  we have never been promised an easy road.  the road ahead has guaranteed suffering.  but we also know that all these things pass.  and that the road ahead can be graced with many good, good things and if we open our eyes and hearts to it, we have Love available to us right here – right now.  like the Love that lives in our friendships.  i have no doubt that some of my closest friends have been the pillars that have been holding up my heart during this time.  pillars with names like Amy, Cynthie, Shannon, Mitch.  i am blessed.

in Buddhism we are taught that life is always changing, fleeting and transitioning. nothing is stationary.  how do i not grasp at friendships, at life, and control?  how do i go about this when feeling overwhelmed?

i sit.
i sit and breathe.
i sit with patience.
i sit with an open heart.
i sit and let go.
waiting with compassion for the Ocean’s next wave…

thank you, for keeping me company.

peace & love to you dear friends…

~ j