a bowl of mac ‘n cheese…

~ jaysen ~ 2 Comments

a bowl of mac ‘n cheese…

i do love mac ‘n cheese. it is a comfort food, for sure, and one reason why i still cannot consider myself vegan. i don’t eat it often and i am not a big fan of dairy, but it does find its way to my table every once in a while.

i have been trying to be more mindful when eating, taking notice and taking time, letting each bite reveal a little bit of life’s mystery as my body gains some nourishment. so, tonight with my mac ‘n cheese before me, i embarked to find awareness.

the first thought was, not surprisingly, “this is just a bowl of mac ‘n cheese.” followed by, “AND it looks delicious – i’m hungry!”

i set out anyway…looking deeply at the pasta i coould see that it is made of unleavened dough of wheat probably, mixed with some flour, water, and egg. looking deeper into those ingredients i could see that the wheat had to be grown, in a field where it received sunlight and water, without which it couldn’t survive. it grew out of soil that houses insects who burrow oxygenating and making it the perfect place for this wheat to grow. and then there is the farmer who owns the land and the workers of the land who assist in the farming. this doesn’t even address of course the eggs which came from chickens who also need sun and water and ranchers. chickens, mind you, that eat grain and feed that also need the right environment and nutrients to grow and be farmed – farmed using equipment that some genius developed, perhaps through trial and error and the help of other people. and then there is also the cow who produced the milk that with assistance and ingenuity has become cheese…oh, yes – the cow also requires sun and water and feed, etc. etc. etc.

looking deeply, i can also see that someone created this popular dish at some point and many others have contributed to the recipe that sat before me, before i ate it…out of a bowl made in China…you get the picture.

all of this and the staff at Sprouts where it was purchased by my sister with money that was given for jobs that i wouldn’t have or she wouldn’t have if it weren’t for people wanting our work.

so what i came to realize on a heart level, welling with gratitude, was what i have known on an intellectual level but hadn’t felt so deeply…this bowl didn’t hold just mac n’ cheese within it’s curved walls, it contained the sun, the rain, sacrifice, hard work, ingenuity and generosity…indeed, it contained the entire world.

~ j

remember…

~ jaysen ~ 1 Comment

Remember…

Even behind the darkest storm clouds
The stars still shine

Try to remember this

Even in your pain
In the numbness that blankets your days
In the loneliness that steals your nights

Promise me you will remember

That even as the Sun fades
The Moon still reflects the light
Of that most Ancient Love

Remember

That even as the Earth falls to sleep
Under Winter’s silent watch
This is not the end

This is only a moment in time
A space for rest
As Spring readies herself in all her beauty
Waiting to welcome you to wake

I know you feel frozen in time, dear one
Treading still waters
Tired, heavy, sinking

But please don’t forget
The sound of the waves

Remember their music

They sing to remind us
Nothing is permanent
Life is movement

And you are Life

They sing to us
The tide dancing in
The tide dancing out
Always flowing, always moving

You will wake
Rising from this nightmare
As you have time and time before

I promise

And don’t forget
Nightmares are simply
Friends in shadow
Manifesting, not to terrorize

But to teach
To grow our hearts in love
In compassion
In patience
In spaciousness

First, for yourself
And then, so wonderfully
So beautifully,
For the World

©2010, Jaysen Matthew Waller

a simple job actually…

~ jaysen ~ Leave a comment

socialism?
capitalism?
progressive or liberal?
perhaps, conservative?

drop the titles and judgments, friends.

the job is simple actually…
i’ll spell it out, from my heart.

clothe the poor
feed the hungry
and
give drink to the thirsty.

and if you still have room to complain or judge, think on these gems…

if someone hits you,
go ahead – turn the other cheek.
if someone asks for your coat,
hey – offer them your shirt as well.
get your walkin’ shoes ready,
cuz if the request is made – walk an extra mile.

i think these little nuggets of God’s heart will keep our lives busy enough…but then again, it is easier just to do what we’ve been doing isn’t it?