a meditation ~
“Aware of your own breathing, connecting to each present moment. Breathing in, breathing out. These moments, each moment, is a reminder that we are alive. The person next to us is alive, the tree reaching for the sun is alive, the bird singing her song is alive, and we together with them are Life. Aware of that, we are also aware that we are never alone, but are always surrounded by Life.”
~ j
“Thinking about Joshu: One of the most beloved masters in early China was Joshu, admired for his economy and spirit. Zen Master Joshu was born in 778 CE and became a monk when he was 18 years of age. He stayed with his teacher Nansen for 40 years. When Nansen died, Joshu grieved for some years, and then, at the age of 60, after his grief had worn through, he said “I think I’m going to wander around for a while.” He spent the next 20 years traveling about China, visiting various Zen teachers and letting them check his mind. He was checking their minds too.
At the age of 80 he thought, “It’s time to settle down now,” and he became the head of a small temple, where students would come and go, and he would have quiet, pointed interactions with those who met him. It was said that a kind of light shown around his mouth, he was so direct, purified, simple, non-greedy about his own mind and his own practice. Modest and having submitted for so long, he became who he really was. He died at the age of 120, and thus he had the advantage, once he had settled down at the age of 80, to have another 40 years of discovery, enjoying peculiar and unmediated interactions with those who found their way to his modest temple.”
~ Roshi Joan Halifax
i don’t know that it is important to believe the specifics of this story, as some have questioned.
rather, the power for me is in the message of the story, the simplicity of purpose, the humility of spirit. i really connected with these.
i am always impressed by the amount of grief these stories expose of students when their masters/teachers pass. so beautiful, so human and sacred. the path of awakening is not something that helps us escape these heavy things in life, but the practice gives us the grounding to sit, to walk, and to live with it…and what we find is that we have this heart with an incredible capacity to hold Life.
thank you for sharing, Roshi Joan.
~ j
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
~ Carl Jung
this is the second time i’ve seen this Jung quote recently and its theme feels so present both on the micro level for my own journey and on the macro level in seeing the way the world is facing things regarding economics and the environment….all the while looking for quick ways to end the suffering without facing our own shadow’s relationship to this. i am reminded that “stuff” doesn’t just go away…it may be suppressed for a while, but it must rise and make itself known. when we do finally face it and recognize it and know it, then – then healing and transformation can take their rightful place.
namasté, friends ~ j
“Give me everything mangled and bruised, and I will make a light of it to make you weep. And we will have rain & begin again.” ~ Deena Metzger
i simply love the emphasis on transformation within this selected piece of writing by Deena Metzger. the well known Franciscan Richard Rohr often says that what we don’t “transform” we then often “transmit”. there is something so connected and intuitively right on with these messages of tranformation. within such a perspective, everything EVERYTHING is grist for the mill. is this not incarnation? don’t we see that this path, this sacred journey has been tread before? lived out in the life of Jesus, grounded in the sitting of the Buddha? and did not they both invite us to experience this and to live this ourselves?
we have the profound ability to take the ugliest of hurts and make them beautiful, to shine our light – setting aglow all that is sacred here and now. what’s more, is that we have the divine right and even responsibility to do so. the capacity of heart to hold the entire world, knowing it in Love, so that it can be recognized for what it is.
namasté
~ j
i was pulling out of the McDonald’s parking lot, after a failed attempt to ween myself from the consumption of an iced vanilla coffee (a relatively inexpensive treat ~ a cost more to my health than my wallet).
it was then that i saw her, with her curly, gray-blond hair falling to her shoulders. she was wearing comfortable pants a little high of her ankles, her feet within well-worn sneakers, and her eyes viewing the world through simple-framed glasses. she stood there, wrapped in a wool wrap at the exit of the parking lot.
no chance, really, to avoid her wanting gaze. nor did i want to. on the contrary, my heart felt drawn to her. i found myself noticing her beauty. she didn’t seem quite homeless, perhaps just down ‘n out – a victim of these challenging economic times.
i looked in my wallet, finding just a couple of 1′s and a 5 dollar bill. normally, i’d not think twice about keeping the 5 where it was and releasing the 1′s to a new home. after all, i live paycheck to paycheck like many. but this time i thought, “what the heck. i’ll give her the 5. she needs it more than i, no doubt.”
i wish i could say this was all ego-less generosity born out of my heart’s evergrowing compassion, but i’m pretty sure it was my ego, indeed, that was looking forward to seeing her notice it was a 5 dollar bill rather than a 1 dollar bill.
i rolled down my window and handed her the 5 dollar bill along with a smile. she readily received the 5, smiled in return with pleasant appreciation. then, as if trying to reassure me of my contribution to her need, she said, “thank you. every little bit counts.”
every little bit counts?!
ha! i drove away with a huge smile, a laugh, and joy in my heart. the little quirky, down ‘n out beauty gave me a great gift…an ego reality check and a moment of zen.
lyric from Coldplay’s song, “Clocks” ~
“am i part of the cure
or am i part of the disease?”
it could be said that ~
the cure is Love
the disease is Hate
perhaps this is a good question to ask ourselves in this moment…in every moment…
am i here to love? am i here to hate? what purpose am i serving? the purpose of love? the service of love? the healing of love? the peace of love? or am i adding to hate, to hurt, to violence, to the despair of this world by my thoughts, my actions, my words?
~ j
i have been so greatly blessed these past few weeks. a dear friend whom i only met a year ago, but most certainly have known for lifetimes, has been in town working on a show.
he is without a doubt one of the most beautiful people i have been gifted with having in my life. his soul and his heart breathe love into life.
resting in the gratitude of having him near for this short time, i remembered a piece i wrote to him on a card for his birthday this past year. i found a rough draft in my journal and i was taken with how much i felt this writing was for me, for all of us. i have adapted it here to share with him and myself once again and for all of you for the first time.
peace and love!
~ j
this is our calling, this is our task
to Love
without reservation
without hesitation
with complete openness
and
passion
without security
with fearlessness
this is our calling
this is our task
may you, dear friends
be
successful in transforming
this world
with your Love and your Peace
you have, dear friends
already
awakened my life from this
dark sleep
with your Love and your Peace
good, bad, sad coming
good, bad, sad ever going
all of Life is Now
inescapable
great suffering and bliss shared
in this, our One Heart
friends ~
without a doubt, these past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion. shadowed by worry, tension, grief, at times guilt, and with an even more consistent presence – confusion.
details are not necessary. but the preceding weeks have brought the loss of people in my life and the seeming estrangement and confusion of what is a very dear to my heart friendship. the price has been exhaustion, and at times an overwhelming burden of a weight i know i should not attempt to bear…and a feeling of helplessness, feeling alone, and deep, deep sadness.
Life is good.
i’m not making a joke. Life is good. we have never been promised an easy road. the road ahead has guaranteed suffering. but we also know that all these things pass. and that the road ahead can be graced with many good, good things and if we open our eyes and hearts to it, we have Love available to us right here – right now. like the Love that lives in our friendships. i have no doubt that some of my closest friends have been the pillars that have been holding up my heart during this time. pillars with names like Amy, Cynthie, Shannon, Mitch. i am blessed.
in Buddhism we are taught that life is always changing, fleeting and transitioning. nothing is stationary. how do i not grasp at friendships, at life, and control? how do i go about this when feeling overwhelmed?
i sit.
i sit and breathe.
i sit with patience.
i sit with an open heart.
i sit and let go.
waiting with compassion for the Ocean’s next wave…
thank you, for keeping me company.
peace & love to you dear friends…
~ j
